musubi | thirtieth breath ✧ voice

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luceti

thirtieth breath ✧ voice

Alright.

Someone tell me they've seen Richard.

I know you weren't snatched away, man, so you better get back to me or I'm gonna find you myself and strangle you. You can't just run out on me.

You'd better not have been taken away, in any case. You made me a fucking promise.

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If you care that much about it, shouldn't you be around to help her?

... this isn't the first time this has happened to her. The first time, back in our world...

[He trails off. It's something he hates admitting, hates even thinking about.]

... was because I tried to kill her.

Because you honestly wanted to, or because you were influenced to?

[Either way, Isamu can sorta relate.]

While it's true that Lambda was influencing me, if I'd just been stronger, perhaps I...

Stop right there.

No saying shit like that.

You don't even know if you could have stopped him. Maybe you couldn't have. Beating yourself up over it isn't going to fix anything.

That's right. The only thing that is certain is that it happened.

[The hand that he'd been resting on the pane of glass curls into a fist.]

I hurt Sophie.

Did you apologize then?

Not for several months afterward. But the Sophie that is here now comes from shortly after it happened back in our world.

[He doesn't think he needs to explain why that's so awkward.]

Did she accept your apology then?

And do you think she's the sort of person who wouldn't accept it here?

It doesn't matter whether she does or not. Even if she accepts my apology, I'm just going to end up hurting her again... just as I hurt you and Asbel and Naoki.

Right.

You'd better not do anything ever except for for hide away in a little hole on the off-chance you might hurt someone.

... that's all I ever do.

Bullshit.

Do you really think so many of us would give a damn if that was the case?

[Richard inhales, biting his lip to stifle what he was about to say. It's not something he's brought up with anyone yet because it's still too painful for him to dwell on that much. And to mention it to Isamu of all people... he's not sure it would be wise, or fair.]

Well?

Can I really believe that...?

What do you see with your own eyes, Richard?

Is there or is there not people out looking for you right now because they care?

Shit, look at me! You think I've never hurt anyone? We know that isn't true. But if it really matters to you, then you should be trying to fix things, not hiding away from them.

I did try to fix things. I tried my hardest, but nothing came of it. The only thing that did happen was that I ended up hurting someone again in a way that I couldn't be forgiven for.

[His voice is strained, though he remains calm.]

I'm just tired.

[Though, really, it's a testament to the amount of trust that he has in Isamu that he's even admitting to this at all.]

What makes you think nothing came of it?

I dunno, man. Way I see it, no one here hates you.

That honor's all yours.

No one here, perhaps.

From my standpoint, those of us here are what matter.

You'd let yourself be torn up by the idea that a bunch of losers back home might be upset with you?

[There's both a bitter and sad tone to the laugh that follows.]

I'm certain there are many people in my world who are still angry with me, as they have every right to be. But they aren't the ones whose opinions I'm worried about.

Alright. Then tell me who you are worried about.

[But Richard just remains silent. Does he really have to say who?]

Because if you're talking about anyone out looking right now, I'm gonna have to say you're worrying for nothing.

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