Because it's boring, of course. I'm talking about things you like to do, like building forts or climbing trees. Or maybe even reading books in a fort or a tree.
[He doesn't look very cheered up by that, though, instead just drawing his knees up to his chest.]
I know. I'm being irrational again. I just don't know how to stop it.
[He pauses, hesitating, then takes a deep breath. In a way, the alcohol might be a good thing, as it lowers his inhibitions somewhat.]
I worry that you'll eventually get annoyed with me over something like that-- get tired of the fact that I'm not like most other people. I don't want to drag you down. You deserve much better than that.
[He should be happy to hear that. He knows he should-- wouldn't anyone?
But that lurking fear at the back of his mind just won't go away, and he isn't sure how to respond to that without either lying or risking making Isamu angry.]
[... whoops, sorry, he kind of forgot about the whole "still recovering from zombification" part. He quickly loosens his grip but doesn't let Isamu go.
It's probably selfish too, but he doesn't really WANT to let go.]
[The apology is actually for more than just the accidental squishing, but there isn't a chance in hell that he's going to say "I'm sorry for falling in love with you" out loud.]
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[... he likes to do all of those.]
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[SORRY, RICHARD.]
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No, that isn't what I meant. I just...
[Maybe he is childish for liking those things after all.]
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I'm just joking around, man... Everyone's allowed to like whatever they want. Even you.
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I know. I'm being irrational again. I just don't know how to stop it.
[He pauses, hesitating, then takes a deep breath. In a way, the alcohol might be a good thing, as it lowers his inhibitions somewhat.]
I worry that you'll eventually get annoyed with me over something like that-- get tired of the fact that I'm not like most other people. I don't want to drag you down. You deserve much better than that.
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Richard, if I wanted to hang out with someone "normal" I have a whole fucking city to choose from.
But clearly I'm not with them. I'm perfectly happy with you as a friend. Normal is overrated.
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But that lurking fear at the back of his mind just won't go away, and he isn't sure how to respond to that without either lying or risking making Isamu angry.]
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...You idiot.
You're all I have.
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Isamu...
[That's all the warning Isamu will be getting before he's tugged into a crushing hug.]
I won't ever abandon you-- I promise that much. I meant what I said during that draft: you mean too much to me for me to ever want to leave your side.
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NOT SO MUCH CRUSHING, PLEASE.
But he won't shove Richard away, just reach up to pat him lightly on the back.]
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It's probably selfish too, but he doesn't really WANT to let go.]
I'm sorry.
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Now you're not allowed to say it again for the next few hours.
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And if I do?
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[He settles his chin into a comfortable position on Isamu's shoulder, smiling against his hair.]
It's strange-- somehow it's much easier for me to be honest when I'm around you. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad one.
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Thank you for protecting me out there. I really mean that.
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That isn't something you need to thank me for-- it's just what you do when you care about someone.
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