musubi | thirty-seventh breath ✧ voice

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luceti

thirty-seventh breath ✧ voice

So I didn't... miss anything, right? I didn't fall into a coma and sleep away Valentines? Did I just miss everything?

I'm going to assume I missed everything in my solitude somehow, because there's little chance that nothing happened. You see, I would have to be worried if nothing happened because that would mean that they might want to make up for it later and no one wants that.

Therefore, I want to know everything terrible that happened to you guys while I was blissfully ignorant. Come on, regale me.

No seriously, spit it out.

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I thought I was supposed to be a lord? Or does that not apply yet?

[Lord Pillow, maybe. He doesn't try to nudge Richard off of him either. He knows better.]

I thought you didn't want to be a lord. Was I wrong?

[He tilts his head a little to look up at his friend, curious. Not as if Isamu will get all that much say in it, but still.]

...I'm just trying to be difficult. Don't take me so seriously.

[Isamu grumbles a bit and shifts in his seat.]

[Richard's face falls slightly, and he turns his head away, shifting a bit so that he isn't leaning on Isamu quite as much.]

... forgive me, I didn't realize you weren't being serious.

[For someone who does as much trolling as he does, he still has trouble parsing when other people are doing the same thing to him sometimes.]

Man... Don't get all mopey on me now.

[He gives the blond a slight nudge.]

It's hard not to around this time of year. It's been three years now, and yet...

[It still hurts. It hurts, and it's never really gone away. As far as he's concerned, this is just another sign that he isn't as strong as he'd like to be-- as he should be.]

Yeah... I get you.

[He reaches an arm out to pull some of Richard's hair away from his face.]

You just gotta put all that behind you, you know?

[Instinctively, Richard leans his head towards that touch and lets his eyes slide shut.]

I don't know if I can.

[He's never been very good about putting things behind him, which was how the entire Lambda mess had happened back at home.]

Dwelling on it isn't going to do any good.

It'll be better for you to move on.

I know.

[Logically, he does recognize this. If only he could convince his heart of that fact...]

I still miss him, even after everything that happened.

[And there are so many times when he wishes there were some way he could flip a switch and turn that feeling off.]

I know you do. I do too.

But even if he comes back, it's not going to be the same. You've already seen that.

[He rubs at Richard's back a little.]

[One corner of his lips quirks upward in a lopsided attempt at a smile.]

When I was younger, when things got too bad, there were times I wished that I couldn't feel anything at all. Sometimes I wonder if that would have made all of this easier.

No, then you just would have been super boring.

[He ruffles the back of Richard's hair a bit.]

[Now he laughs.]

And we couldn't have that, of course. Whatever would you do with yourself if you didn't have me to make your life interesting?

Probably wallow in my own misery.

That makes two of us.

[Not that he doesn't already wallow in his own misery at times, like now. He just knows how much worse it would be if he didn't have Isamu around to knock some sense into him.]

No, because you wouldn't feel anything, remember?

So we both agree that this is a lame option.

[That knowledge, that Isamu wouldn't want him to change even though it would undoubtedly make his own life easier, makes tears prickle at the corner of Richard's eyes, though he's quick to try to blink them away.

Naoki had wanted him to change; had even made it an ultimatum of sorts. It had left Richard feeling inadequate and unworthy of being loved by anyone. But somehow Isamu always seemed to know what to say to reassure him and dispel those feelings without even trying.

There aren't really words to express his gratitude for this, so he settles for just wrapping his arms around Isamu in a hug instead. There's no misinterpreting that gesture, at least.]

Thank you.

Heh...

[Isamu's face reddens a little. All he can do is pat his friend on the back again, returning the hug to the best of his ability.

He's not good with this mushy stuff.]

[And yet Isamu tolerates it anyway, which is all Richard could really ask for. He's a clingy person by nature; Luceti has made him more comfortable being physically so as opposed to just emotionally.

And no, he doesn't care if either of their housemates walk in on this.]

If I didn't know better, I would say you're blushing.

[He also can't help but tease, just because he can.]

But you know better, obviously.

[Totally blushing, but he's not going to acknowledge that.]

Of course.

[Richard thinks it's cute, but he also isn't going to say that out loud.]

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thirty-seventh breath ✧ voice

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